There was a moment last year when I decide to catalogue all the clothes that I had bought over the year. It left me unsettled. How could I have bought so much and still have so little to wear on any given day. New occasions, events, and people had me buying new items as I desperately tried to make myself stand out and not stand out in equal measure. I ended the year feeling overwhelmed by stuff and making a commitment not to buy more as I had end the year with more and yet I didn’t feel more anything.
It seems common these days to end the year with a commitment to simplicity and I can see how attractive this becomes after the richness and excess of Christmas. Certainly I could benefit with a paring down of my possessions and thus, into existence swept a list of rules that would see me more prosperous and connected by the end of the coming year.
However, for the anxiety prone, junior hoarder, it doesn’t quite eventuate that smoothly. Three days in to the new year and the cracks are already appearing as things that I need come in to my peripheral vision. I breathe through it. Eat through it. Swipe absentmindedly on my phone through it. The feelings of wanting pass. Watching Minimalism on Netflix was meant to be helpful. It would inspire and enthuse and push all thoughts of electronic gadgetry to the op shop with year old magazines, mismatched crockery and never worn shoes for the occasion that never came.
Life is never that straightforward in its gifts, however and within 5 minutes I had fallen in love with a bag, and next a dining table. It seemed that I would only be able to embark on a life of simplicity when I had acquired the tools to do so. Basically a remodel of the common area, new sneakers, and a fancy looking colander. How come all the clutter-free types had such enviable kitchen appliances and furniture? Did they start that way? Or replace as required? Because my unstylish, kitchen bits and pieces will probably have the audacity to last another 10 years just to taunt me. Why didn’t I have this worthy epiphany next year when I’d had a chance to make it look right.
It will be an interesting exercise though because, it seems the things that I own, that I lust over and I buy have taken a greater significance than the individual components would warrant. I’m curious to see what will manifest in the space that is left behind.